my republican moment
i was a republican today.
let me start from the beginning...
i woke up at 5:00 a.m., like the usual monday. showered, and dressed - wore my green linen pants with my white dress shirt...went to work.
work was fine...read and wrote memos. came up with some new ideas for the company. met a new i.p. lawyer...had lunch with lawyers... someone gave me a slice of home-made banana bread. yummy.
after work i stopped by my mother's house. she was home...her big-ass lexus suv parked on the driveway. (don't even get me started on the suv)
as i unlocked the front door, a man came up behind me.
big smile. scruffy face. white shirt, chinos, and a tie. all k-mart brand.
and i have no way to say this in a politically correct way...so here it is. he was black.
a black man walking around in my mother's neighborhood.
something you don't see every day.
hell, you don't even see asians in this neighborhood.
not only that...
...he's walking.
W
A
L
K
I
N
G
No one walks around here. that neighbor has a hum-vee. that neighbor has an infinity. that neighbor has a bmw. that neighbor has a porche.
NO ONE WALKS AROUND HERE.
so this young man comes up and starts talking.
what did he say? no idea.
he's talking so fast, it's hard to grasp what he is saying.
i get him to slow down.
yes...he's selling magazines. no...magazine subscriptions. so that he doesn't have to sell drugs. he tells me this is what he does to support his two kids. that i should invest in him.
and i listen, patiently.
...and this is where he fucks up.
he mentions Katrina.
You know...Katrina...the hurricane...the one that destroyed a city down south.
He compares himself to the victims of Katrina.
i have more patience than the average person...just ask my daughter.
but when this guy was saying how he was like a victim of Katrina and that I should give him money...
...my fuse went off.
So i inquired about the company he works for. i asked where it was located. Oh Washington D.C. do you have the address? mind if i call someone to check out your company? i want to make sure it's a legit company before i give you my credit card number. no? you don't want me to check? why not? it's in d.c. i know people in d.c. i can call right now. oh you want me to donate money to your church instead? where is that? in chicago. oh you don't want my charity. you want me to give a gift? wait, you are asking me not to give you charity, but you want my money...oh i see...you want me to use the word GIFT and not CHARITY...but you want my money anyway. so you can keep going from door to door and ask people for money...but call it a gift and not charity. right. and you do this to support your kids.
GET A JOB
GET A JOB SCRUBBING FLOORS. You got kids? You want to support them? Go get a real job and earn your money. Go get an education.
And by the way, give me the information about your company. I really want to check them out so I can give them some money.
No? You don't want me to give them money?
Oh you want me to give YOU the money...right now?
Right.
Get out of here.
as he left to go knock on my neighbor's door, i grabbed my cell phone and called the police.
what a con artist...he wasn't even good.
then i had an argument with my mothe and i left 5 minutes later and came home.
after another argument with my mother over the phone, i am ready to start studying.
isn't my life GREAT?
i really did feel like a republican when i told that guy to get a real job. if most of the republicans i know weren't such assholes, i'd probably be one.
ha...did i scare you?
let me start from the beginning...
i woke up at 5:00 a.m., like the usual monday. showered, and dressed - wore my green linen pants with my white dress shirt...went to work.
work was fine...read and wrote memos. came up with some new ideas for the company. met a new i.p. lawyer...had lunch with lawyers... someone gave me a slice of home-made banana bread. yummy.
after work i stopped by my mother's house. she was home...her big-ass lexus suv parked on the driveway. (don't even get me started on the suv)
as i unlocked the front door, a man came up behind me.
big smile. scruffy face. white shirt, chinos, and a tie. all k-mart brand.
and i have no way to say this in a politically correct way...so here it is. he was black.
a black man walking around in my mother's neighborhood.
something you don't see every day.
hell, you don't even see asians in this neighborhood.
not only that...
...he's walking.
W
A
L
K
I
N
G
No one walks around here. that neighbor has a hum-vee. that neighbor has an infinity. that neighbor has a bmw. that neighbor has a porche.
NO ONE WALKS AROUND HERE.
so this young man comes up and starts talking.
what did he say? no idea.
he's talking so fast, it's hard to grasp what he is saying.
i get him to slow down.
yes...he's selling magazines. no...magazine subscriptions. so that he doesn't have to sell drugs. he tells me this is what he does to support his two kids. that i should invest in him.
and i listen, patiently.
...and this is where he fucks up.
he mentions Katrina.
You know...Katrina...the hurricane...the one that destroyed a city down south.
He compares himself to the victims of Katrina.
i have more patience than the average person...just ask my daughter.
but when this guy was saying how he was like a victim of Katrina and that I should give him money...
...my fuse went off.
So i inquired about the company he works for. i asked where it was located. Oh Washington D.C. do you have the address? mind if i call someone to check out your company? i want to make sure it's a legit company before i give you my credit card number. no? you don't want me to check? why not? it's in d.c. i know people in d.c. i can call right now. oh you want me to donate money to your church instead? where is that? in chicago. oh you don't want my charity. you want me to give a gift? wait, you are asking me not to give you charity, but you want my money...oh i see...you want me to use the word GIFT and not CHARITY...but you want my money anyway. so you can keep going from door to door and ask people for money...but call it a gift and not charity. right. and you do this to support your kids.
GET A JOB
GET A JOB SCRUBBING FLOORS. You got kids? You want to support them? Go get a real job and earn your money. Go get an education.
And by the way, give me the information about your company. I really want to check them out so I can give them some money.
No? You don't want me to give them money?
Oh you want me to give YOU the money...right now?
Right.
Get out of here.
as he left to go knock on my neighbor's door, i grabbed my cell phone and called the police.
what a con artist...he wasn't even good.
then i had an argument with my mothe and i left 5 minutes later and came home.
after another argument with my mother over the phone, i am ready to start studying.
isn't my life GREAT?
i really did feel like a republican when i told that guy to get a real job. if most of the republicans i know weren't such assholes, i'd probably be one.
ha...did i scare you?
posted by AL3X at 6:49 PM
1 Comments:
Great Blog!
I have a poker game site. It pretty much covers poker game related stuff.
Come and check it out if you get time :-)
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